Anwens journal
Anwens profile Mluo With a sigh, she sits down against the tree behind her. Koda, her bearcompagnion, tries to fit his large body in the small shadowy space formed by the tree. Anwen leans back and closes her eyes. The warmth of the desert tries to penetrate her skin and the warm musty air makes it difficult to breath. Lucky for her, she was used to this climate. She even emraced it. She kicks off her boots and buries her toes in the sand. The upper layer was hot, but beneath it, the sand was cool. Satisfied she listens to the sounds around her. It was quiet. Every animal tried to hide for the heath. Who could blame them, it was the hottest time of the day. Only the sound of shifting sand filled the air. And the splashing sound of water. Koda had given up on fitting in the small shadowy area and had decided to find coolness in the oasis. He growls approving. In her head, Anwen goes through the events that happened in the past few weeks. The death of her friend Bur-Meseif was still fresh. Everything had gone so fast. After she had burried her friend, she went to Davon's Watch to find Atra-Hasis. She didn't really know why she did that. Because it was the last wish of her dear friend? Because she was looking for a bigger purpose? From one day to the next she was in a Cartel supporting a cult worshipping Sithis. Yes, she believed in Sithis like she believed in Anu, Padomay, Aedra, Daedra and all the others. She had never really worshipped them though. Even more, it was a cult with mostly Argonians. She had already betrayed the Covenant once, they would probably disapprove of her choice now. Not that she really cared. She had left the boundaries of the Covenant behind a long time ago. Even though, somewhere within, her reason tried to scream to run the other way, which she suppressed succesfully. She had developed a liking to her new Argonian family and even felt protective of them. Why, she really did not know. Maybe because they somehow reflected her friend Bur-Meseif who she missed so much. After a while Anwen sits up and opens the small bag she had taken with her. She takes out some cheese and takes a small bite. As she chews on it, her eyes go to the piece of paper in her bag. It was a letter from her other family, the Ash'abah. Marimah, the headman of the Ash'abah, had passed away and his daughter Talia had taken the title of headman. She sighs. Another death of a loved one. Marimah had taken her in and accepted her how she was. He had protected her and stood behind her while other family members didn't. Now she was supposed to go to his burial ceremony and show herself to the other Ash'abah. If they would discover that she had joined a group that worshiped Sithis... She would probably be an outcast of her own family and this time there wouln't be Marimah protecting her. She groans and takes another bite of her cheese as she then hears another sound. She looks around and sees, not so far away, a lynx crawling closer. His eyes look curiously at the cheese in her hand. Anwen looks from the lynx to her cheese and back. From the water comes a protecting growl. Anwen grins at Koda and then breaks of a piece of cheese and holds it for the lynx. The sandcoloured animal sniffs and crowls nearer and sniffs again. "Here...it is for you. If you like cheese..." She puts the cheese on the ground and waits patiently until the animal finally has enough courage to snatch the cheese away and jumps back. There he eagerly eats it. Anwen looks at it laughing. "Cats like cheese? I didn't know." She looks up at the sun and nods. She takes her waterskin and stands up to fill it with the water from the oasis. "Are you done bathing, Koda? It is time to go further. We yet have a long road ahead of us." The bear looks at her, not really making any attempt to leave the cool water. Anwen sighs, walks into the water and takes the reins, trying to pull the resisting bear back onto the sand. "C'mon Koda, we need to go." After a while the bear finally gives in with a cranky growl and walks with her. Anwen turns around to find the lynx with his head in her bag. "Kssst!" She steps to her bag and snatches it away from the animal, leaving the lynx standing with crums of cheese on his head. Anwen looks inside her back and then at the lynx. "You ate all my cheese..." Angrily she swings the bag on her back and walks back to Koda. "Stupid animal, that was my food..." Muttering she climbs on her bear who starts walking in the appointed direction. After a while, Anwen looks back, looking at the position of the sun, as her eyes falls on something moving in the sand. She narrows her eyes and looks at it. "I'll be damned..." A few meters behind her walks the lynx. Even though the oasis is not in sight anymore, he is still there. Was he following her? She stops Koda. The lynx keeps walking until he is just behind them. Then he sits down and looks up at Anwen. "Not really afraid, are you...?" With a raised eyebrow she looks at it. "Go away, you already ate all my cheese." She makes a gesture with her hand, but the lynx stays where he is, apparently not very interested in her words. As Koda walks further, the lynx walks with them, all the way to her next stop. As she climbs off Koda, Anwen looks at the lynx. "I can not lose you, can I?" She sighs and kneels, stretching her hand. The lynx walks to it and sniffs, seemingly looking for something. "If you keep following me, I guess I should give you a name..." She frowns as she thinks. "What about Mluo? It means cheese in my native language." The lynx sits down, tilting his head as he looks at her. "Mluo it is." She stands up and puts a hand on Koda. "Koda, the new member of our group." She gestures to the lynx who doesn't show any interest for the bear. Koda growls and turns his back to Mluo. Anwen sighs. "Well, this is going to be fun..." The Ash'abah Anwen steps off her bear. It was a warm evening and she had driven all day. Her heavy armor scoured against her skin and it felt muggy in it. The reddening sun was making her shadow long on the desertsand. In front of her was the Ash'abah camp she so well knew. With lead in her shoes, she starts walking to the tents. It has been a while since she had shown her face and she wished she was here for a more joyful reason. As she walks in the camp, she can feel the eyes of her family members pricking in her back. Nobody greets her, but they stop doing what they were doing and just look at her. Her hand tightens around Koda's reins. In front of a large tent, she stops. In front sits Railam, one of her brothers. He looks up as she comes closer. "Anwen..." He looks surprised at her and than sad. "She is inside..." He does a step aside so Anwen can enter the tent. She nods at him and than enters. It is half dark inside. Here and there are candles burning. The scent of incense fills the tent, trying to overpower the scent of death. Right, in the corner on a bed lays the death body of Marimah. Next to it, on a stool, sits Talia, his daughter and the new headman of the Ash'abah. As Anwen enters, Talia looks up. Anwen bows respectfully. "Anwen..." Talia stands up and looks at Anwen with a grimm glance. Than she hugs her tightly. "I've missed you sister." Anwen hugs her back. "I am so sorry, Talia." She pulls herself from the hug and walks to the bed, with Talia behind her. Anwen kneels and makes a blessing symbol with her hands to Marimah and looks at him, touching his arm softly. The man looks old with a wrinkled skin and grey hair. His lifeless face looks pale beneath his always brown coloured skin. After she paid her respects, she stands up. Talia puts a hand on her shoulder. "Anwen, we need to talk." Her voice is stern. The two walk to the tent next to Marimahs. In the middle is a large table with maps and papers. Talia pours them both something to drink and than leans against the table, her eyes looking serious. "You know I love you Anwen," she starts, "but not all of us want you here." Anwen nods. She had already see this coming. "There are rumours going around that you joined a criminal cult." Her eyes now pierce through Anwen. Anwen now also leans against the table and takes a sip from her drink. Her head trying to construct something to say. Instead she remains silent. "Is it true?" Talia comes closer. "Did you forget our purpose? Did you abandon us?" Anwen shakes her head. "I never abandoned you. You know that better than anyone, Talia." "Than tell me. Are the rumours true?" Anwen sighs and looks at her sister. "Yes, I joined a group that isn't afraid to use any means nessecary for their cause. But this cause is righteous and good!" Talia shakes her head. "What about us sister?" She makes a gesture around her. "What about the cause you have here? You left because you wanted to learn more about the world. But are you ever coming back home?" Anwen looks into her mug. Talia puts a hand on her shoulder and looks her into the eyes. "Our brothers and sisters are worried about you, Anwen. But they are also restless about the fact that you do not seem to respect our ways anymore. My father always stood up for you and so will I. You will always be my family, but you have to make a choice. Come back home or be an outsider again." Anwen looks up. "Talia..." The woman shakes her head. "As headman, I need to keep the family together, Anwen. I can not do that when we are fighting among our selves." She looks at the wordless Anwen. "You won't be banned. Like I said, you will always be family. But you will be stripped of your rank." Anwen puts her mug on the table angrily. "How can you say that! Your father..." "I am not my father!" Talia raises her voice and looks angry too, even though she still seems to have her calm aura. Anwen leans back against the table. "I am sorry." More calm now, she looks at Talia. "This is not my home anymore..." Talia nods and leans against the table next to Anwen. They are both silent for a while. "Can you tell me what you are doing?" Talia eventually breaks the silence. "Protecting an object that could do good or could be used for destruction." Anwens voice is strong, certain. "That does sounds righteous." Talia smiles and puts her hand on Anwens. "I know they have found a good person to do so." Anwen smiles and hugs her sister. "Thank you." That night Anwen joins the ceremonial burning of Marimahs body. Other than other Redguards, who bury their death. So their death can not rise again. The fire is large and warm. Anwen looks at the faces of her brothers and sisters that are lightened by the fire. This place that was her home for years, but where she now felt like a visitor. Her eyes go to the fire. Marimah. He had been like a father for her. A wise man and respected by all who knew him. She would miss him dearly. A voice breaks the silence and starts singing a song about loss and strength. Others start to sing and so does Anwen, for the last time with these brothers and sisters. As a tear rolls over her cheek, she whipes it off fastly. She would always love this family, but her obligations now lay somewhere else. Egil Somewhere outside birds were singing. A dog barked and a man yelled something about apples. With a sigh, she turns around and opens her eyes. Only to look directly at the sleeping face of Egil. Anwen turns back immediately with a red head. What happened last night? She seaches her head, but nothing out of the ordinary popped up. Well, nothing but... She turns back at Egil and looks at his sleeping face. A warm feeling speads through her body. She really had fallen in love with him. Egil was strong. He was like her, a mercenary, good with twohanders and used elemental magic. Where she used fire, he used ice. She grins at the thought that he would train her in her magic. It scared her to feel that pain again, but it was good to actually use her magic the right way. With a hand, she touches his face softly and than his lips. She hadn't felt anything like it since Njadill and she never thought she would ever again. It confused her. This was not a time to fall in love with anyone. To have such a big weakness just walking around. What if he accidentally got too much information? Her body turns cold. She would be the one to kill him... and if not, they both would be killed. With a stiff body, she sits up. But what if he would join the bussiness? He had to believe in Sithis...She shakes her head. Small chance he would... However...there was another Nord in her family...so it was possible... She takes one last look at Egil and than stands up and silently walks downstairs. Yesterday's happenings go through her head. He had told her about his family. And she had shown him her scars. She had never openly spoken to anyone about that part in her life. There was a reason she rather took the bottle than talk about memories like that. Her eyes go over the room and rest upon the Kahjiit laying in the bed under the stairs. Maybe she should talk to Teelus about this. Or maybe Dee-Jah. They probably knew what to do. With a soft click, she opens the door and goes outside. The rising sun warms her body and for a moment her worries seem to fade. A loud growl comes from her left. Koda looks at her with a face as if he exactly knew what happend. From behind him comes Mluo, with a cranky and somewhat offended look. Anwen laughs. "I am sorry, Mluo, you had to stay outside." She pats Koda on his head. "Don't look at me like that. I don't know yet what to do." She mounts him and starts walking south. For now she should probably just enjoy this new part of her life. As long as it wouldn't interfere with her work. The Refugee Soft murmur fills the cave. Candlelight reflects on the yellow desertrocks that surrounds the Refugee and even though there is no wind, the flames make the shadows dance. As if they were celebrating the illegal activities going on beneath them. Everyone seemed to be relieved to be in the coolness of the cave, even though the air was stuffy. Even here, beneath the ground. The desertrocks did not seem to be able to stop the warmth from outside to influence the air here below the hot sand. Anwen, sunken deep into her own thoughts, does not seem to notice a Redguard woman approaching her. "Why such a serious face?" The woman sits down at the table with a wide grin. Her long dark hair curls around her shoulders. Her brown eyes look playful at Anwen. "Shelaye..." Anwen looks up and grins. "Is something troubling you?" Shelaye leans back without taking her eyes off Anwen. Anwen shakes her head. "Not really...only business." She takes the mug from the table and drinks. The cool ale seems refreshing. "It is always business with you, isn't it?" Shelaye's voice seems worried. Anwen sighs. Shelaye has been a good friends since they were kids. She was the daughter of one of Sentinels merchants and as kids they had roamed the streets together in their free time. Now she kept an eye on the Refugee with Bazbava. Baz was great and loyal, but stood out too much as an Orsimer within a Redguard community. Shelaye didn't. And where Baz did not have any people skills, everyone seemed to like Shelaye. "Well, it is what keeps me busy these days." Now it is Shelaye's turn to sigh. "I know, I just don't understand why you have to do all this for thém. You don't need them. Look at what you've accomplished." She makes a gesture with her arms at the Refugee. "They almost all work for you...If they would know it all goes to some outsiders..." Anwen gives Shelaye a warning glance. "They are my family, Shelaye." She looks into her empty mug. How did ale go so fast? With a frown, she takes the bottle and pours more ale into her mug. She knew she drank too often too much, but it made her forget...things. And the cool ale was a welcome refreshment in this warmth. "Your family? What about Khalnal? What about the Ash'abah..." "They are my family too. I know you do not always understand, Shelaye, but can we talk about something else?" Her voice sounds pragmatic and it makes Shelaye raise an eyebrow. The woman looks at her friend, who seemed to have changed a lot in a very short time. Not all bad though. She seemed to walk a lot less into trouble than she used to... "I am sorry, Anwen. I just worry about you." Anwen grins thankfully. "I know Shelaye and I am thankful for that." The two sit together silently for a while, looking at the people in the Refugee. It hadn't been very difficult to take control over this place. The previous 'owner' was old and hadn't really taken good care of the place. The fences were only happy to have someone who actually protected the place and who kept an eye on the customers. In return, Anwen would only ask 10% of each fence, their loyalty and information. This was less than the previous owner asked and they hadn't complained since. However there still was a fence who refused to work for her. Maybe some rougher method would do the job... The other people working here just provided her information about what was going on. This way, nothing came in or went out without her knowing. "Do you remember, when we were kids?" Shelaye's voice is back to joyful melodious. "You saved me from those streetboys." The women chuckle. "Yes, I remember. I came back with bruises and a blue eye. Khalnan was so angry." Anwen says. Shelaye nods. "I was so envious of you. How you dared to stand up like that." Anwen laughs. "You were?! I was so scared. I thought I had seen my last days. I was lucky the guard walked by, otherwise it would have turned out much worse for me." The women laugh. The sound of their laughter echoes through the cave and some of the customers passing by look up. Shelaye bows forward. "You are a good person, Anwen. Don't let anyone change that." Anwen frowns for a moment, but than grins assuring. "Don't worry, I don't change that easily." She winks. Shelaye leans back, her eyes fixed on her friend. Her words only spoken softly. "Yes, you say that..." A new place Her hands softly touch the desk before her. Her vinger follows the lines of the wood slowly. A sigh escapes her lips as she leans against the desk, bringing one hand to her head. It was as if she still felt the presence of that man. With one eye Anwen glances around the room. It had not been easy to get this place. The tests the previous owner and guardian of this mansion had bestowed upon her and her people... One test of wit, one test of strength and one test of courage...Her gaze shifts over to the place where they had underwent the tests. Had she done right by making her people do this...torture? She rubs her face and grabs the bottle of liquor from the desk. With a somewhat unsteady hand, she pours the dark liquid into a small cup. Thirsty she bring the cup to her lips and drinks. The image of cruel eyes light up in her memorie. With a growl, she puts down the empty cup. With the last test, she was confronted with her worst fear. That Imperial commander... She was no longer afraid of that man, but his eyes seemed to follow her everywhere. Fastly she pours some more of the black liquid that could make her forget. That would numb the cruel voice, telling her she would never make it out. She did make it out and look where she was standing now! She had achieved so much in such a short time and she was still going. The vision slowly morphs into different eyes. The kind and caring eyes. Light, loving. A smile slowly forms on her lips. A warm feeling spreads through her body, overshadowing all her bad memories. For a moment it is as if all her worries are gone. But than her smile falters. She could never share this with him... A saddened sigh sounds through the quiet space. She hoped with all her heart he would understand one day. She turns around and looks at the papers on the desk. The sound of rustling papers echo through the room as she picks up the papers and looks through them. It was time to go back to work. Bussiness never stops. Anwens profile